Westhoff Family (& Greg) Olympic Games

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The Westhoff Olympic Games Commission realizes that the use of the word "Olympic" is probably a copyright violation.  If it will help we promise to donate all proceeds of the games to the IOC.

While the eyes of the world were on Salt Lake City, in Pine Bluff Arkansas, the athletes of the Westhoff family (and a neighbor kid named Greg) battled for Olympic gold (cupcakes). 

With unseasonably warm weather to hearten their 7, 5 and 3-year-old spirits, the young Westhoff hopefuls (and Greg) competed in a seven-event battle of body and spirit:

  1. The "Run to Greg's House," a hometown favorite.
  2. "At Bat," a test of baseball skill and cunning.
  3. The "Bar hang" (and the "modified bar hang," a controversial event proposed on-the-spot by the only female WOG official in an attempt to correct a perceived inequality created by the large size of the bar relative to the youngest competitors hands).
  4. Soccer Dribbling
  5. Soccer Shooting
  6. Bicycle Slalom
  7. Broad Jump

The Medal Breakdown

Gold Silver Bronze
Dunn 5 1 1
Zach 2 1 4
Greg 1 4 1
Chase 0 1 0

Zachary receives the Gold Cupcake for his upset victory in the Bicycle Slalom.

Event Summaries

The "Run to Greg's House" started predictably with Gregory taking the lead early (a third grader, he is the oldest of the athletes and after all, it was his house) but finished with Dunnington taking home the Gold.  "I thought I was going to lose" said Dunn, "but then I thought: 'I can run faster than this'," and the rest is history.

Zachary, the favorite going into "At Bat" placed a disappointing third behind neighborhood boy Greg and older brother Dunn.  Dunnington, hitting 9 out of 10 pitches, won the event--a marked improvement over last year when Dunn was prone to bouts of sullen aloofness when it became clear that his younger brother could bat better than he could.  Of note, Chase hit 2 of 10 pitches and was named "best tryer," a word he himself coined.

"Bar Hang" proved more of a challenge than any of the athletes had planned.  Invented in 2001 by a tired dad looking for a way to occupy his young children at the playground long enough for him to sit down for two minutes, the sport of  "bar hanging" has taken on a life of it's own.  A timed event, contestants must dangle from a bar 7 feet above the playground floor in what can be a grueling test of man against palm-pain.  Dunn, the winner of this year's event with an astonishing time of 120 seconds (blowing away second place Zachary who scored a respectable 68 seconds) was heard to exclaim "IGNORE THE PAIN!!!" only seconds before dropping into the history books.

Soccer Dribbling & Shooting provided a welcome introduction to this seasons soccer season (Dunn & Zach are both returning to the field this spring).  The "Shooting" portion of the competition produced a tie for first between Zach and sibling-rival Dunn. Dunnington then put the competition to bed with a dribbling time less than half that of the the second place finisher.

Perhaps nothing was more unexpected at this year's games than the stunning upset in the Bicycle Slalom.  Chase, relatively new to the family managed to defeat both Greg and Dunn to take home the silver.  He was bested only by fellow training-wheeler, Zachary.  It was no doubt the over-confidence of Dunn and Greg that proved their downfall; their speed and large "big-boy" bikes were no match for the precision and maneuverability of Chase and Zach's smaller machines on the driveway's hair-pin orange-cone turns.

The Broad Jump, a cub scout favorite, provided a win for Greg who (literally) inched out Dunn and Zach.  Again, "best tryer" kudos go to Chase (pictured here) who jumped a personal best of about 11 inches.

Congratulations are in order to all of the athletes who participated in this year's games.  They are the very embodiment of sport and proof that, as Barney would say, "everyone is special;" no mater the color of your cupcake.

It was standing-room-only for this spectator at the 2002 Westhoff Family (& Greg) Olympic games.

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This page contains a single entry by John published on February 18, 2002 1:58 PM.

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