Westhoff Family (& Greg) Olympic* Games
*The Westhoff Olympic Games Commission realizes that the use of the word
"Olympic" is probably a
copyright violation. If it will help we promise to donate all proceeds of
the games to the IOC.
February 18, 2002
While the eyes of the world were on Salt Lake City, in Pine Bluff Arkansas,
the athletes of the Westhoff family (and a neighbor kid named Greg) battled for Olympic
gold (cupcakes).
With unseasonably warm weather to hearten their 7, 5 and 3-year-old spirits,
the young Westhoff hopefuls (and Greg) competed in a seven-event battle of body
and spirit:
- The "Run to Greg's House," a hometown favorite.
- "At Bat," a test of baseball skill and cunning.
- The "Bar hang" (and the "modified bar hang," a
controversial event proposed on-the-spot by the only female WOG official in
an attempt to correct a perceived inequality created by the large size of
the bar relative to the youngest competitors hands).
- Soccer Dribbling
- Soccer Shooting
- Bicycle Slalom
- Broad Jump
The Medal Breakdown
|
Gold |
Silver |
Bronze |
Dunn |
5 |
1 |
1 |
Zach |
2 |
1 |
4 |
Greg |
1 |
4 |
1 |
Chase |
0 |
1 |
0 |
Zachary receives the Gold Cupcake for his upset victory in the Bicycle
Slalom.
Event Summaries
The "Run to Greg's House" started predictably with Gregory
taking the lead early (a third grader, he is the oldest of the athletes and
after all, it was his house) but finished with Dunnington taking home the
Gold. "I thought I was going to lose" said Dunn, "but then
I thought: 'I can run faster than this'," and the rest is history.
Zachary, the favorite going into "At Bat" placed a
disappointing third behind neighborhood boy Greg and older brother Dunn.
Dunnington, hitting 9 out of 10 pitches, won the event--a marked improvement over
last year when Dunn was prone to bouts of sullen aloofness when it became clear that
his younger brother could bat better than he could. Of note, Chase hit 2
of 10 pitches and was named "best tryer," a word he himself coined.
"Bar
Hang" proved more of a challenge than any of the athletes had
planned. Invented in 2001 by a tired dad looking for a way to occupy his
young children at the playground long enough for him to sit down for two minutes, the
sport of "bar hanging" has taken on a life of it's own. A
timed event, contestants must dangle from a bar 7 feet above the playground
floor in what can be a grueling test of man against palm-pain. Dunn, the
winner of this year's event with an astonishing time of 120 seconds (blowing
away second place Zachary who scored a respectable 68 seconds) was heard to
exclaim "IGNORE THE PAIN!!!" only seconds before dropping into the
history books.
Soccer Dribbling & Shooting provided a welcome introduction to
this seasons soccer season (Dunn & Zach are both returning to the field this
spring). The "Shooting" portion of the competition produced a
tie for first between Zach and sibling-rival Dunn. Dunnington then put the
competition to bed with a dribbling time less than half that of the the second
place finisher.
Perhaps
nothing was more unexpected at this year's games than the stunning upset in the Bicycle
Slalom. Chase, relatively new to the family managed to defeat both
Greg and Dunn to take home the silver. He was bested only by fellow
training-wheeler, Zachary. It was no doubt the over-confidence of Dunn and
Greg that proved their downfall; their speed and large "big-boy" bikes
were no match for the precision and maneuverability of Chase and Zach's smaller
machines on the driveway's hair-pin orange-cone turns.
The
Broad Jump, a cub scout favorite, provided a win for Greg who (literally) inched out
Dunn and Zach. Again, "best tryer" kudos go to Chase (pictured
here) who jumped a personal best of about 11 inches.
Congratulations are in order to all of the athletes who participated in this
year's games. They are the very embodiment of sport and proof that, as
Barney would say, "everyone is special;" no mater the color of
your cupcake.
It was standing-room-only for this spectator at the 2002 Westhoff Family
(& Greg) Olympic games.
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